When all is said and done
Will we still feel pain inside?
Will the scars go away with night?
Try to smile for the morning light
It’s like the best dream to have
Where every thing is not so bad
Every tear is so alone
Like God himself is coming home to say
I, I can do anything
If you want me here
And I can fix any thing
If you’ll let me near
Where are those secrets now?
That you’re too scared to tell
I whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself
Sorry, I have to say it but you look like you’re sad
Your smile is gone; I noticed it bad
The cure is if you let in just a little more love
I promise you this; A Little’s Enough.
My first tattoo done on Oct. 21, 2011.
People always ask what it stands for and why I got it.
The band it represents gave me hope in God, hope in life, and hope in finding love, even if the only love I found was within myself and my relationship with the Lord.
They kept me from breaking and slipping through the cracks on more accounts than I care to remember.
Every time I have watched them live, I’ve felt wrapped in a presence that I couldn’t deny was there, it’s a constant reminder that I am faithful, and that I am still here on earth for a reason.
This… made me cry. The only Father I ever had<3
the one person I could count on being there for me is somehow becoming nothing to me…
It’s happening again.
I’m drifting from everyone.
I’m getting scared.
This is the first time I’ve felt like a child in a long time…
I feel lost in a world that isn’t mine,
that I’ll never be a part of.
I don’t want to be a ghost again.
I don’t want to start slowly killing myself again…
Maybe my blood sugar is getting low again…
I can’t even fucking remember the last time I ate.
I’m calling out for God,
but I haven’t felt this cold in a long time.
Every time I’m alone,
I die a little more.
I want to be held.
And I don’t want to be held.
I wish I could put into words,
just exactly what I mean.
I don’t feel loved.
Not even a little.
I wish even my faith could comfort me.
I wish I felt as close to Him as I did that moment I came out of the river.
I wish I could feel Him in my heart like I did when the water dripped from my clothes and hair.
I wish I could feel His presence like I did the night I put the gun away.
But where is He when I’m gasping for air in between my silent tears?
It’s like I’m screaming at the top of my lungs but no one can hear me.
I don’t want to feel like this anymore…