but I might as well set some sort of goals and hopes for the New year.
1) Take care of my body.
- I’m only given one, one that’s supposed to last me a lifetime. I should be proud of it and treat it right. That means, no more starving myself, and no more cuts. My body is an amazing organism, I’m never treating it badly again.
2) Open up.
- Even though I have almost no friends, I need to let the few that care in. I don’t want to be cold and distant anymore.
- At some point I need to cry, I haven’t let myself feel in so long… and it’s not healthy. It’s more damaging than anything else to hold so many feelings in.
4) Make all A’s and high B’s this next semester.
- College is the most crucial time for getting good grades, I need a career, I need an education to support my future children. I do it for you. I love you.
5) Give more.
- I’m a very loving person, and letting myself feel more will in turn let me give more. I haven’t been giving as much as I could because I’ve been hurt so badly. But I can’t let that keep me from being the person I was born to be.
6) Make an effort to make my dad a part of my life.
- This will be challenging due to the fact that he didn’t really care when I was a child. I grew up resenting him as a father, even though I still love him as a person. I will answer his calls, and see him more than just once this coming year.
7) I will write letters to every person who’s had an impact on my life.
- I’ve been through so much in my short 19 years of life. And whether it be good or bad influences, I will write a letter to every person, either thanking them, or forgiving them, or telling them the truth, and I will feel so much more free and at peace after they finally know everything I’ve felt.
8) Become more optimistic.
- I was born optimistic and happy but having real life situations thrown at me since a young age has hardened me and my mentality into more of a realistic point of view. I don’t want to be a debbie downer, I want to be that ray of sunshine I used to be for everyone. I want to bring hope to those who can’t find or make their own. I want to be love in it’s purest form for those who need it.
9) Take up the piano and writing again.
- Playing the piano taught me self discipline, and writing let me voice my inner thoughts and release all the bad humours in my brain. There’s nothing that brings me peace more than writing and listening to music.
10) Own myself.
- I’m good at not caring what people think, but I still let others opinions get to me. I want to be free from caring. I’m my own person, and that will never change. I will show everyone that I’m Karina Rodriguez, I’m opinionated, irrational at times, strong, independent, goofy, clever, awkward, crazy at times, hairy(lol), loving, smart, sarcastic, and witty. I’m the best at being me and that’s the thing I’ll always be best at. I want people to meet me, look at me, not even know me, and always know that, “that girl loves herself.”
Thanks for reading, and have a safe, wonderful, and Happy New Year<3