
but then he triggers the monster when he comments on how hot some other girl is.
It’s better this way…
It will always keep me in check.
I’ll never be good enough.
I need to be thinner.

This is how I motivate myself.
Schlitterbahn, Summer, Beach days, Warped Tour, California, Mayhem Fest…
I’ve been working out, so it’s natural to gain weight in muscle…
But I don’t want to gain weight…
I’m seriously crying, I don’t want to feel fat and gross.
I’ve worked so hard to lose all the weight I have…
My stomach pains, my sore abs, my sore thighs, my dizziness, the headaches…the hunger.
17lbs I’ve lost…
I’ve worked too hard to go up in weight.
I dont want to be over 115 again.
I want to stay 113 or less…
I want to be thin.
I want to feel beautiful.